Sunshine, Rain, and Puddles…
So you are all aware I am almost done with phase 3 of chemo at Renown Hospital. I get to go home Tomorrow night if I have no complications! This post will be a little shorter, you’re welcome my non-reading family members and friends. May I suggest an app that reads out loud to you as I will not be vlogging or providing audio anytime soon.
On with the Sunshine! Well I really must say my care has been amazing again! I could never be a nurse… and it takes just the right kind of person to be a good nurse! I don’t worry about shift changes because they are all wonderful, kind, supportive, attentive, and caring. I keep an extra large bag of hard candies out for my nausea and make sure the nurses are aware of their free reign of it!
I got to see my kids last night, and I love that I am not nuetropenic so hugs are allowed. It amazes me how just their presence can comfort me, even if I am telling Justin to sit and be quiet 20+ times. His voice can carry through the room pretty easily. I feel at home being a mom and I think that is where the comfort comes from.
My parents and sister and brother in law brought me soup! Such a wonderful supplement to the turkey sandwiches I have been ordering. Again comfort, not just from knowing all my veggies are cooked and I have a safe meal to eat, but knowing I am cared enough about to be thought of. I appreciate it so much!
My last sunshine goes out to all the messages of encouragement and hope. Yesterday I was trying to create a compilation of all my Sunshine, Rain, and Puddle Posts from Facebook and while doing so… I was left in tears several times. You have no idea the depth of my gratitude for your uplifting words and prayers. This may sound crazy, but who cares how I sound at this point, I can feel them. There are times in the day where I will randomly feel a little better for a while. There is no other explanation other than your prayers are being heard and God is listening. I have received in box messages from people who are expressing just how much my words mean to them. That they think about things differently, are more grateful, or are just inspired. This is amazing… I feel like I am getting to be a voice for the Lord, and getting to share something so special. I thank you for allowing me to do that. Know that all the little, messages, prayers, and well wishes are not only being read but are also being felt!
Rain, sadly I have a little. The adriamycin is rearing its ugly little head. So you know this drug has nicknames which include, Witches Brew, Red Death, and Red Devil. Well now… seems strange that I am allowing this to pump through my body, however, it is part of the regiment. Sadly, there is a lifetime maximum dosage with this drug, and because of my previous cancer I have already had a heavy handed dose. Going over the maximum dose will lead to heart failure. They wanted to increase the “Red Death” in my next treatments but could not. I would then go over that maximum allowed dose. So this brings me to what it is doing. This drug effects the heart, and I have had to get several Echocardiograms to measure its effect on me. My previous ejection fraction was a strong 65-70. After this week’s echocardiogram my ejection fraction has dropped to 55-60. While this seems like a lot, let me assure you that 55-60 is still within a safe range. It is not until I hit 40-55 that we will have to worry. I will be doing another echocardiogram before my next chemo session, if my ejection fraction has dropped again, they may discontinue the “Read Death”. I’m hoping that my the left side of my heart will just keep going at the 55-60! I know this drug is dangerous, but it saved my life once before.
I have no clue why most of my puddle stories are disturbingly gross, maybe it is just because I have no shame in sharing my puddles, and I am also realizing that I have a very warped sense of humor. So, as some of you know I acquired a few new beanies. (Ross has a great selection at really low prices!) One of them is a Jack, from “The Nightmare Before Christmas”. I posted a picture of him above, not my Jack, as you will soon find out why.
It’s 1am… I sleep with the hat; it keeps me warm. No hair creates a chill. When I woke I was having a hot flash and an urge to pee, I whipped off the hat and pulled the IV plug from the wall. Dashing into the bathroom, IV in tow, not worrying if the door shut, not needing the light, just trying to save my pants from a puddle, I sat. I was home safe! No puddle pants! Pulled my dry pants up (after wiping of course) and felt something slide down my back, turned to find Jack smiling at me from the bowl. Well not just the bowl, my “hat”, the other hat… the one that catches all my urine. Hats unite? Jack’s new clean white, became tinged very quickly. I, distressed, pulled him out and rolled my IV as quickly as I could to the sink and proceeded to hand wash him with soap and water. I hung Jack to dry. Luckily my back up fish hat was here, which is also super cute, I am not hatless! My sister was kind enough to take Jack home last night and give him a real wash in her washer, after of course her laughing at what had happened. The only thing I think could have got him caught were the braided ties on each side. Either way Jack has made it through the wash and I am assured he is still smiling and white! Just when you think you are safe from the puddles… dun, dun, dun!